by Fiur and Vlamme
"You want what?!" The furious outcry of her fiancé, combined with the dangerous skidding of the car on the wet lane as Mortimer Hayes lost control of it for a moment, made the blonde woman jerk. For a second, she closed her emerald eyes, rubbed her temples and a sigh escaped her throat. Obviously, it wasn't such a good idea to confront him with her decision now, but Jorane Jawson was fed up with the situation. The constant jealousy and fights and, in her eyes, often absurd discussions leading to nothing but delaying the inevitable. She had to put an end to it and for the young woman, it was important to do it as soon as possible.
"Don't you understand, Mortimer? You are crushing me with your love! You are suffocating me, robbing me of any chance to breathe!"
"But that is no reason to break off our engagement!" the dark haired man argued firmly, while his hands closed tighter around the steering wheel of the dark blue Mercedes he steered across the deserted country road. "Okay, fine, I'll tell you what. You need some distance and some time for yourself, I can see that. We don't have to be together or do something every day. So, I will retreat a bit..."
Jorane shook her head, sadly.
Mortimer saw it from the corner of his eyes and his usually gentle face transformed into an angry mask. "What else do you want me to do for you?" he screamed, outraged. "I sacrifice myself for you! I shower you with gifts to prove my love for you and still it's not enough!"
"I never wanted that," she replied, quietly. Jorane felt fear rise inside her, because she had never seen him angry like that.
"Yeah, but that didn't hold you back from taking it all anyway, did it? You are so ungrateful!" His foot pressed down harder on the gas and the car sped up in the dark of the night.
"Please, just take me home, where we can talk," the young woman begged, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible and suppress the panic, which began to make itself known.
"Why wait so long?" Mortimer asked. "Let's talk right now and get this out of the way!"
"SHUT UP!!!" he yelled back, took one hand off the steering wheel and brandished it in front of her face. "Don't you think I know what's going on here? Do you think I'm totally stupid, or what? So, since when?"
Jorane looked at him in disbelief. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Mortimer."
"Yes, I bet you don't!" he spat, acidly. The car's speed accelerated more.
"Please, slow down..."
But the dark haired man didn't seem to hear her. "You are spending so much time with your precious horses... it's the new stable guy, isn't it? Did you think I wouldn't notice the way he looks at you?"
Annoyed, Jorane rolled her eyes.
"So, since when has this been going on?" he demanded.
"I don't know what you are trying to suggest here..."
"SINCE WHEN ARE YOU DATING HIM BEHIND MY BACK?" His eyes flashed at her furiously and Jorane was so shocked, she needed a moment to get her composure back in order to react to the angry question.
"Mortimer, he has nothing to do with the fact that I want to break up ..."
"So, you are admitting that you have an affair with him?" he interrupted her.
"No! Dear god, you don't listen at all!"
"I think I understand just fine," he growled back, annoyed.
Jorane knew he didn't understand anything at all, but after that outburst of rage she didn't want to provoke him further. She just wanted home. "Please, drive me home."
He stared through the windshield absent-mindly, before his brown eyes turned to her, looking at her almost fondly. "Yes, I will do that. To where you belong," he promised so softly that Jorane thought she had just imagined the outburst.
The young woman looked out the window and noticed that the landscape passed her by faster and faster. She gazed at Mortimer, whose hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, so hard that his knuckles turned white and his eyes were locked on the road.
"Mortimer... would you please slow down?" Her voice pierced the uncomfortable silence.
Instead of an answer he sped up even more.
"Mortimer!" Fear and panic made her body tremble.
"It's not your fault," he finally spoke quietly. "You are so beautiful and every man wants you, I know that. But you are MY WOMAN!!!" His eyes turned to her and what Jorane saw there would forever be etched into her memories.
He stepped harder on the gas. "If I can't have you, no one else shall have you! I will make sure of that," he announced, calmly.
While Jorane's brain was trying to process what he just said, Mortimer pulled hard at the wheel and the Mercedes rolled to the other lane, where a car came at them at breakneck speed.
"MORTIMER! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?" she screamed, her heart beating wildly with fear, as she reached over to grab the steering wheel.
"HANDS OFF!!!" he shouted and shoved her away roughly, only thinking about putting his cruel plan into action.
At the last moment the other car managed to avoid them with squealing tires and the driver honked, loudly.
"MORTIMER!" Jorane was beside herself with terror.
"ARE YOU CRAZY? STOP THE CAR!"
"NO! It will end! HERE AND NOW!!!" Once more, Mortimer stepped hard on the gas, pressing it down until it hit the floor. The engine howled its protest, as the car flew through the night.
"Mortimer, whatever you are intending to do, please, don't," Jorane pleaded, tears running down her rosy cheeks.
A last time he looked at her. "I love you, Jorane. Nobody else will ever love you like I did. You leave me no other choice." Then he pulled hard at the steering wheel. The dark blue Mercedes left the wet road and crashed into a tree at the side.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Soaked with sweat and awakened by her own fearful outcry, Jorane's emerald eyes flew open. Her heart hammered wildly against her rib cage and she panted for breath. Finally she looked around the darkened room and realized where she was. "I'm home... safe... alive... " She ran one hand through her short, damp, blonde hair. Then she grabbed a pillow and rolled on her side, hiding her face in the silky soft fabric as the tears came. "Oh God, will this never stop? It's been over a year now. Why can't I just forget the whole thing?"
After the sobs and tears had subsided, she sat up and glanced at the alarm clock sitting on the night stand, beside her bed. 07:43 a.m. shone in red numbers and Jorane rubbed her face. She pulled at the T-shirt, which stuck sweat-soaked to her body, then pulled back the light blanket and felt a sharp stab in her heart as her eyes fell on the scars of her left leg. It didn't matter how often she had seen them. Everytime it was a shock all over again. Just as it had been then, in the hospital, where the horrible pain had nearly driven her insane and the seemingly endless surgeries and physiotherapies robbed her off her strength. Jorane's bottom lip trembled and she bit down on it to keep from bursting into tears again. With her right hand she reached for the cane that leaned against the bed. Finally, she rose awkwardly and limped supported by her cane to the bathroom to take a shower.
Some time later, she sat freshly showered and wrapped in a terrycloth robe at the desk in her study, her head supported on her left arm. Lost in thought, she gazed at the document she held in her right hand. "What am I to do? I'm going to lose my house if I don't find somebody, who rents the apartment upstairs . Why can't there be just one thing without any complications in my life?"
The blonde woman sighed und put the letter aside. She opened the front drawer of her big desk and took out a clean, white sheet of paper and a pen. Carefully she unscrewed the cap of the silvery pen and began to write.
But right after the first word she stopped, starring disbelievingly at the letters in black ink that stood out sharply against the white background; Loneliness.
Jorane frowned and shook her head. "No, that's not a good subject for a poem." She crumpled the paper to a little ball and threw it in direction of the paper-basket, which stood not too far away. The ball missed its target and fell to the floor, a good couple of inches beside the basket.
"Well, today is just not my day," the blonde woman grumbled and got up from her chair. Sharp pain tore through her left leg. Jorane clenched her teeth, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. "Oh, oh, that's not good. I need to take my meds."
Carefully and slowly she moved back to the bedroom and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a clean T-shirt. Then she limped to the kitchen, grabbed the pills and a glass of water. After swallowing the strong painkillers, she made breakfast. During that Jorane's eyes fell on the ticking clock, which made the only sound in the otherwise silent apartment. "Mhh, better get some more rolls ready. David should be here in about thirty minutes and he is always hungry. I wonder where the guy puts all that stuff?"
A small smile formed on her lips with the thought of the young man, who always managed to cheer her up, no matter how bad her mood was. Yes, David Turner was her friend. Probably the only true friend she ever had in her life.
Dyki Tantsi by Fiur and Vlamme – 60 pages
Scars on her body, scars on her soul, Jorane Jawson is living her life in depression and loneliness. Horrible nightmares are torturing her every night. But one day, fate brings a beautiful foreigner to her doorstep. Will Ileana Surienka be able to chase away the fear that keeps Jorane from embracing happiness with both arms?